A Brave New World

Do you ever ponder if you are the same as everyone else?  Or are you the only one wafting in the isolation that is this universe.  In  my 33 years of existence I have never embarked on something like this but, sometimes thoughts are more coherent on paper.  So here are the thousand insights into my soul, day 1 at least.

Can I just share with you that Daylight Savings is the cruelest trick of man?  How do our bodies adjust to an hour less of sleep for six months out of the year.  Don't get me wrong I love the extra hour of sunlight but shouldn't there be a better way?   Unfortunately,  like so many others I'm sure,  it had thrown off our whole sleep wake cycle in the excuse that you will adjust after a week.  A WEEK!!! So much can happen between now and next Sunday.  I could fall off a bridge.  Nuclear Armageddon could ensue.  World War III could be declared or I could turn permanently into the Velociraptor I become with a lack of sleep.  Studies have shown that people who are sleep deprived tend to become extremely violent....and yet every year we deprive most of the population in the United States of an hour of this precious commodity!

It was especially noticeable today while sitting at Mass. Struggling to pay attention to the homily, being mildly distracted as I have this awful cold and my thoughts kept wandering to the decor of the Church, what cute sparkly dresses the little girls had on and whether or not my sleep deprivation was contributing to my lack of attention span. I was getting frustrated at myself for not being able to concentrate on what Father was saying.  Trying, trying, trying....do you ever feel like you are trying to death? I do!  Trying to be a better person, a better Catholic, a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, trying to become a Saint.  Sometimes for all the trying I do I never seem to get anywhere, like running into a brick wall over and over again.  As I kept trying to try to pay attention I felt God say "Jenny stop trying and just BE!"

It stopped me dead in my perpetuating self condemnation an vain circle of trying.  JUST BE!  How refreshing are those words to me.  How beautiful that we have a God who can see into our inmost being and at communicate to us what we need to hear most.  I hope that you all who may read this will also able to practice how to 'Just Be' I think it is so easy to become wrapped up in how we can save ourselves that we forget how to just abandon ourselves into our Father's loving arms and just be.

I am praying for all of you, please remember to pray for me!